I’m glad I’m mostly retired.
Otherwise, I’d probably be in a panic that AI was coming for my job, what with all the stories about how AI is going to revolutionize journalism and copywriting.
And now I read that there are apparently hundreds of books for sale on Amazon written, at least in part, by AI.
So, okay. We know AI is already writing copy and fiction, but the real question, the important question, is: Can it write fanfic?
To find out, your intrepid reporter made an account on ChatGPT and gave the bot two simple fanfiction prompts.
Here’s what happened next:
Severus Snape and Minerva McGonagall sat in their usual seats in the Great Hall, sipping on cups of tea. The fire crackled in the fireplace, providing a warm and comfortable ambiance.
"Minerva, I must admit, I never thought I'd see the day where we would be sitting here like this, in peace," Snape said, breaking the silence.
Minerva looked at him and smiled, "Yes, who would have thought that the former enemies of Gryffindor and Slytherin would become friends?"
Snape chuckled, "I suppose we have the war to thank for that. We were forced to work together, and now, here we are."
Minerva nodded, "It's funny how life works sometimes. We have seen so much and been through so much together. I am grateful for your friendship, Severus."
Snape smiled, his eyes softening, "And I am grateful for yours, Minerva."
They sat in silence for a few moments, each lost in their own thoughts. Then, Snape spoke up, "You know, I always thought you were a strict, no-nonsense professor. But I have come to see that there is so much more to you. You have a heart of gold."
Minerva blushed, "Why, Severus, I do believe that's the nicest thing you've ever said to me."
Snape grinned, "Well, it's true." They clinked their tea cups together, smiling at each other. They had come a long way, and they had each other to thank for it.
The End.
Jane Austen it ain’t. (But then again, neither is my fic.)
Severus Snape and Minerva McGonagall had a love-hate relationship, to say the least. But as they sat together in the Great Hall, sipping on cups of tea and discussing the latest events at Hogwarts, they both couldn't help but think how far they had come.
"Minerva, I must say, I never thought I'd see the day where we would be sitting here like this, in peace," Snape said, breaking the silence.
"Yes, Severus," Minerva replied with a smirk, "Who would have thought that the former Head of Slytherin House and the Head of Gryffindor House would become such good friends?"
Snape rolled his eyes, "I suppose we have the war to thank for that. We were forced to work together, and now, here we are."
Minerva nodded in agreement, "It's funny how life works sometimes. We have seen so much and been through so much together. I am grateful for your friendship, Severus."
Snape raised an eyebrow, "Grateful? Minerva, I never thought I'd hear those words come out of your mouth."
Minerva chuckled, "Well, you bring out the best in me, Severus."
Snape smirked, "And you bring out the worst, my dear."
They both laughed, their past rivalries forgotten. They had come a long way and they had each other to thank for it.
"Severus," Minerva said, her tone serious, "I want you to know that I trust you. I trust you with my life and the lives of my students."
Snape's eyes softened, "Minerva, I am honored. I would do anything for you and for Hogwarts."
And with that, they clinked their tea cups together, both knowing that their love-hate relationship had turned into something much more meaningful.
The End.
Interesting.
ChatGPT obviously can tease out rudimentary stylistic tics from even the most obscure of authors (moi) and even more rudimentary thematic ideas (the “love-hate” relationship between Min and Sev). It would be intereresting to see what it would do with a much more detailed prompt. (No, I’m not going to tell it to write Minerva/Severus smut. Don’t even ask me.)
All in all, this quick little experiment told me two things:
One, AI isn’t ready to replace actual human authors yet, although it will no doubt appear to be a savior to many a secondary-school student who has a book report due tomorrow but has not cracked the book. (They will be disappointed to learn that teachers are way ahead of them and know how to use computers too.)
Two, I use way too many smirks and rolled eyes in my Minerva/Severus fic.
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